Friday, April 22, 2011

Day 27--I'm in Denial

Dear Deployment,

I'm sitting here on my couch, waiting for my toes to dry.  A good friend of mine came over tonight to keep me company so we're doing pedicures.  I'm not looking forward to her leaving--the house will be quiet then, and I'll have to face the truth of our new reality:
DH left this morning.
My sister went with us to the airport early this morning.  It was a lot more surreal this time around since there were other people leaving with him this time.  It was almost like I didn't get to say goodbye like I wanted leaving the airport only temporarily, as if I would be back later in the day to pick him up.
His flight left super early, so we hardly had any time to say goodbye.  My sister was kind enough to get a few pictures of us as we were saying goodbye.
That hug was far too short.
It was hard, too, since he wasn't in uniform--people at least understand why you're crying when hugging someone in uniform....I just got funny looks instead.

My sister and I were talking about how interesting airports are, how many stories that come and go everyday when you walk through them.  I wish people had understood our story today so that our time could have been sweeter, quieter, less rushed.

They started to board, and I felt like it was a hurried goodbye.  I hate not feeling like I was able to completely say goodbye, but he had to go--he has a job to do over there, and I will continue to do my job here: supporting him as his wife, proud of her husband and proud to serve in my own, quiet way.

I'm still in denial.  It's as if he'll walk through our front door at any moment.  His "food" (I don't like pickles, vinegar or beer) is still in our fridge.  His clothes are still in the dirty laundry basket.  His keys are hanging by the door.
as if he hasn't even left yet.

I think it will probably become real tonight, when I'm back in our cold bed.  As I am sleeping, he is somewhere over the Atlantic (flying first class, he was thrilled).

We will be celebrating our six month wedding anniversary tomorrow.  I didn't expect the celebration to include him being far away
but then again, this lifestyle is full of surprises.

I have so much to learn.  This deployment has hardly even started, but we will grow and we will learn.
So while we had to say goodbye for the moment, this is just one day closer to being together again.
All my love.  Safe travels, my darling.

The Faithful Wife

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