Monday, December 19, 2011

Endings, beginnings or a little something in between...

Sometimes admitting that you spoke too soon is the beauty of being a military wife.  Per my most recent post, we had just found out that he might be deploying for a year in about 7 to 8 months from now.
Now we have a new adventure.  Things have changed up a bit in the squadron and we aren't exactly sure how long or how permanent these changes will DH is stuck here for an undisclosed amount of time until we get further orders.  I'm pretty sure my hair is going to be grey before I hit my thirties.

So whether or not we are facing an ending or a beginning is really not even a valid question.  With the military, you are always faced with things changing, with routine getting altered, with plans adapting.  There are days when that is what I thrive on and what I live for, and there are others when I wonder how my stamina will ever hold out another twenty some odd years until DH retires.
Only by the grace of God.  I try to memorize at least one Bible verse a month--it's been my attempt to really take hold of what I believe and give me life verses for those days I will undoubtably face when everything seems to crash in around me.  My verse this month is from Psalms 28:7 "The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him and I am helped."
Oh how I cling to those words.  As I sat at home on Wednesday night, trying to make sense of yet another deployment, I continued to go back to that verse, knowing that in my own strength, I wasn't ready to face this, but that with God's strength, I could do anything.
and with changes happening yet again, that verse still applies.
and for that I am thankful.  I am thankful that the God that we serve is the same today as He was yesterday that He will be tomorrow and twenty years from now.  It's comforting.

Oh, the updates that I have for you all as well.  So much has been occuring that I just wouldn't even know where to begin, however, I absolutely must brag a bit.
Remember this post about a not so cooperative car?
Meet the new ride:
This is Roger.  Roger is a very cute, 2009 Nissan Versa who is grey and reminds me of a cute little old man.  Hense, Roger was born.  He's been a wonderful addition to my life and has meant that I can avoid driving the truck ever again in my existence.  I don't do large vehicles.  In fact, I would rather not do vehicles at all--I prefer walking.
Yet another reason why I was born 50 years later than I should have been born.

Another reason, too, why I would have made an excellent addition to the mid 1900s is my rather ridiculous obsession with cooking and baking.  And my love for sour cream raisin pie.
Don't judge it before you try it. seriously.
Yes, I made my very first meringue pie and it was fabulous. 

Be jealous, I'm an epic cook.
Problem that I run in to though, this time of year, is my desire to bake for the entire world doesn't match my free time, need for sleep and checkbook (not necessarily in that order).
I am, however, planning on baking at least 6 different kinds of Christmas goodies in the next week or so.  Spare my waistline, I'm already convinced that I'm doomed.

I went grocery shopping last night for the first time in three weeks.  I always tell myself that I will stop doing that, but it has yet to happen, and frankly, I get a kick out of seeing my cart overflowing with only two people living in our house.
We are trying to make more health centered food choices, so it's getting a bit pricey to eat around our house, but, the doctors are now saying that my ear infections are being caused because of a dairy allergy, so the girl who literally puts cheese on everything is now not allowed any cheese.  It's been a pretty rough go around our house becuase of that.
Seriously though, this cart is ridiculous.

We had our Christmas parties last weekend for both the Navy Squadron and overall Squadron (explain to me why we went to the Navy Christmas Party when we are Air Force?) Hooray for being social, I guess.

They has a photo booth at the Navy Party.  DH picked the pink hat.  I want to send this out with our Christmas cards.

Speaking of Christmas cards, we went and got our family Christmas pictures taken last weekend too.  It was so nice to have a current picture of us together, especially after being apart for so long.  Here are some of my favorites:

He sure makes me look good.  I am so blessed.

I am also fortunate to have an adorable fur baby who is both intelligent, ornery and beautiful all at once.

Ack that ear!  DH is still hoping it will eventually stick up.  I think it's a lost cause and adds personality.  She's a sweet baby though, and loves to snuggle with her mama, even though she prefers daddy more.  Nothing says Merry Christmas mama like blatantly enjoying the other parent over the one who you were initially intended for in the first place.

All of that to say, that our lives constantly change.  No day is like the next.  I am thankful for the challenge and opportunity to continue to grow and I am looking forward to the start of a new beginning, whatever that might be.

Keep lookin' up and cherish each precious moment that the Lord blesses you with.

The Faithful Wife

Thursday, December 15, 2011

He's Home. He's Leaving. And the Cycle Continues

Well for all of you who wanted to see our homecoming video, here it is.  DH came home 29 October mid afternoon.  It was one of the happiest moments of my life, but also one of the scariest.  Transitioning back into a semblance of normal has been hard.  We never really were able to establish us as a family before he left so now we're left picking up the pieces and figuring out how, what, who and when all over again....but I wouldn't trade it for anything.
Here's our homecoming video:

DH came home two days ago and dropped a bombshell for me.  He's deploying again.  He will leave next fall and be gone for one year.  That's 365 days.  That's double of when he was gone this last time.  It's scary for me.  It's been a hard pill for me to swallow.  Part of me wonders when it will be our turn to just be normal for once, rather than preparing for deployments and being apart.
It's hard for me not to focus on the negatives with this.  He will miss my birthday for a fourth year in a row.  He missed our first anniversary, now he'll miss our second.
He's going to miss the holidays.
That's hard for me right now.  To say any different would be lying.  I am strong, but right now, my emotions are outweighing my strength.

There are positives though and I'm really trying to keep my eye on those as I have my moments of breaking down.  He is doing this partially so I can keep my job that I started in November.  I love my job and he wants me to be able to stay there as long as possible.  This will be good for his career.  He will get the year deployment out of the way before we have children.  I have family nearby.

But he's still going to be gone.
and my heart just doesn't know how to react to that right now.

He comes home. He leaves again. He comes home.
It's a never ending cycle that I wish, for just one year, would press pause on the coming home part and let it last.

The Faithful Wife