Monday, December 19, 2011

Endings, beginnings or a little something in between...

Sometimes admitting that you spoke too soon is the beauty of being a military wife.  Per my most recent post, we had just found out that he might be deploying for a year in about 7 to 8 months from now.
Now we have a new adventure.  Things have changed up a bit in the squadron and we aren't exactly sure how long or how permanent these changes will DH is stuck here for an undisclosed amount of time until we get further orders.  I'm pretty sure my hair is going to be grey before I hit my thirties.

So whether or not we are facing an ending or a beginning is really not even a valid question.  With the military, you are always faced with things changing, with routine getting altered, with plans adapting.  There are days when that is what I thrive on and what I live for, and there are others when I wonder how my stamina will ever hold out another twenty some odd years until DH retires.
Only by the grace of God.  I try to memorize at least one Bible verse a month--it's been my attempt to really take hold of what I believe and give me life verses for those days I will undoubtably face when everything seems to crash in around me.  My verse this month is from Psalms 28:7 "The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him and I am helped."
Oh how I cling to those words.  As I sat at home on Wednesday night, trying to make sense of yet another deployment, I continued to go back to that verse, knowing that in my own strength, I wasn't ready to face this, but that with God's strength, I could do anything.
and with changes happening yet again, that verse still applies.
and for that I am thankful.  I am thankful that the God that we serve is the same today as He was yesterday that He will be tomorrow and twenty years from now.  It's comforting.

Oh, the updates that I have for you all as well.  So much has been occuring that I just wouldn't even know where to begin, however, I absolutely must brag a bit.
Remember this post about a not so cooperative car?
Meet the new ride:
This is Roger.  Roger is a very cute, 2009 Nissan Versa who is grey and reminds me of a cute little old man.  Hense, Roger was born.  He's been a wonderful addition to my life and has meant that I can avoid driving the truck ever again in my existence.  I don't do large vehicles.  In fact, I would rather not do vehicles at all--I prefer walking.
Yet another reason why I was born 50 years later than I should have been born.

Another reason, too, why I would have made an excellent addition to the mid 1900s is my rather ridiculous obsession with cooking and baking.  And my love for sour cream raisin pie.
Don't judge it before you try it. seriously.
Yes, I made my very first meringue pie and it was fabulous. 

Be jealous, I'm an epic cook.
Problem that I run in to though, this time of year, is my desire to bake for the entire world doesn't match my free time, need for sleep and checkbook (not necessarily in that order).
I am, however, planning on baking at least 6 different kinds of Christmas goodies in the next week or so.  Spare my waistline, I'm already convinced that I'm doomed.

I went grocery shopping last night for the first time in three weeks.  I always tell myself that I will stop doing that, but it has yet to happen, and frankly, I get a kick out of seeing my cart overflowing with only two people living in our house.
We are trying to make more health centered food choices, so it's getting a bit pricey to eat around our house, but, the doctors are now saying that my ear infections are being caused because of a dairy allergy, so the girl who literally puts cheese on everything is now not allowed any cheese.  It's been a pretty rough go around our house becuase of that.
Seriously though, this cart is ridiculous.

We had our Christmas parties last weekend for both the Navy Squadron and overall Squadron (explain to me why we went to the Navy Christmas Party when we are Air Force?) Hooray for being social, I guess.

They has a photo booth at the Navy Party.  DH picked the pink hat.  I want to send this out with our Christmas cards.

Speaking of Christmas cards, we went and got our family Christmas pictures taken last weekend too.  It was so nice to have a current picture of us together, especially after being apart for so long.  Here are some of my favorites:

He sure makes me look good.  I am so blessed.

I am also fortunate to have an adorable fur baby who is both intelligent, ornery and beautiful all at once.

Ack that ear!  DH is still hoping it will eventually stick up.  I think it's a lost cause and adds personality.  She's a sweet baby though, and loves to snuggle with her mama, even though she prefers daddy more.  Nothing says Merry Christmas mama like blatantly enjoying the other parent over the one who you were initially intended for in the first place.

All of that to say, that our lives constantly change.  No day is like the next.  I am thankful for the challenge and opportunity to continue to grow and I am looking forward to the start of a new beginning, whatever that might be.

Keep lookin' up and cherish each precious moment that the Lord blesses you with.

The Faithful Wife

Thursday, December 15, 2011

He's Home. He's Leaving. And the Cycle Continues

Well for all of you who wanted to see our homecoming video, here it is.  DH came home 29 October mid afternoon.  It was one of the happiest moments of my life, but also one of the scariest.  Transitioning back into a semblance of normal has been hard.  We never really were able to establish us as a family before he left so now we're left picking up the pieces and figuring out how, what, who and when all over again....but I wouldn't trade it for anything.
Here's our homecoming video:

DH came home two days ago and dropped a bombshell for me.  He's deploying again.  He will leave next fall and be gone for one year.  That's 365 days.  That's double of when he was gone this last time.  It's scary for me.  It's been a hard pill for me to swallow.  Part of me wonders when it will be our turn to just be normal for once, rather than preparing for deployments and being apart.
It's hard for me not to focus on the negatives with this.  He will miss my birthday for a fourth year in a row.  He missed our first anniversary, now he'll miss our second.
He's going to miss the holidays.
That's hard for me right now.  To say any different would be lying.  I am strong, but right now, my emotions are outweighing my strength.

There are positives though and I'm really trying to keep my eye on those as I have my moments of breaking down.  He is doing this partially so I can keep my job that I started in November.  I love my job and he wants me to be able to stay there as long as possible.  This will be good for his career.  He will get the year deployment out of the way before we have children.  I have family nearby.

But he's still going to be gone.
and my heart just doesn't know how to react to that right now.

He comes home. He leaves again. He comes home.
It's a never ending cycle that I wish, for just one year, would press pause on the coming home part and let it last.

The Faithful Wife

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Day 197--101 Things that WILL Break During a Deployment

Dear Deployment,

This is what my hallway looks like currently:
Yup. A pipe burst in our apartment.  I have officially tapped into every aspect of personal and private property breaking.  It's almost comical, actually.  I laughed this time instead of crying once I realized what had happened.

DH needs to come home soon.  I really don't want to deal with issue number 102.  Call me crazy, but I think it just might be a bit too much.

The Faithful Wife

Monday, October 3, 2011

Day 191--Thirty Days Hath September

Dear Deployment,

Can you believe it's already October?  Where in the world did September go?  I feel horrible for not even posting a little bit in the last month but between everything going on, I guess I just forgot.  I'll attempt to recap some of it tomorrow morning before I go to work, but for now, I need to go to sleep for a few hours.

The Faithful Wife

Monday, August 29, 2011

Day 156--I Did a Wonderful Thing

Dear Deployment,

I've had the most incredible weekend.  I have learned the most valuable lesson in the last five days:
Take Time for Yourself

I've never really done that this deployment, and while it may have been halfway selfish, I needed it more than I even realized.
We have some long time friends stationed south of us (I won't tell you where, but they have heaven on earth there:)
I was a happy camper.  We don't have one of those where DH and I are stationed.
I promise to post more tomorrow, but please promise me to take time for yourself this week--I wish I had realized the vital importance of that sooner.

The Faithful Wife

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Day 144--Getting in Touch with my Inner Domestic Goddess

Dear Deployment,

Look what I made:
That's a white layer cake with strawberry was delicious.

So much for losing weight this deployment.

I've noticed that I really enjoy baking.  While I've always been someone who will help out when bake sales/events/holidays/an excuse for baking is needed, I've never really done it just to bake.  The last week or so, though, it's been different.  I actually want to bake as a relaxation tool.  I look forward to mixing things by hand, or figuring out new things (like how to make a layer cake).

That's something I'm learning the longer DH is away:  it's okay to spend ridiculous amounts of time doing something pointless on occasion.  I don't need to bake, but I enjoy baking.  So I'm doing it.  I'm finding out new tricks and how to frost cakes without destroying my pretty layers.  I'm learning you can substitute applesauce for oil in recipes.
I'm also learning that friendship bread starter never ends.
it's kind of a pain...but like the good pain that you hate to admit you're enjoying....
don't tell me you don't know what I'm talking about.

Other than baking, I've also gotten quite crafty.  Here was my most recent project:
I made a wreath out of DH's old ABU's.  This picture isn't the final final product, since I trimmed it up a bit and things, but this is the general idea.  It was so fun for me to put together, especially since the uniform I used was his well-worn one that he used in tech school.  Call me a nerd, but I'm nolstagic like that.

I've been working out a lot lately.  I am glad that during this deployment I've been keeping up (mostly) with the things I said I was going to focus on.  I've been working out, and I'm seeing the results.  It's been fun to look back at pictures from before or wear a dress from before and realize the real changes that my body is making.  While I'm not one to post pictures of myself, I have to have a vain moment:

My arms didn't look like that 5 months ago....I'm really proud of myself.  It makes me wonder what I'll look like when I hit my goal weight/size.  I'm almost there, but darn it, I can hardly wait to surprise DH with the changes my body has made (and I'm sure he'll love them....although after 7 months of not seeing me, he'd like me in a paper bag and tissue boxes for shoes)

One bit of saga that I have to share, just because it's so ridiculous/hilarious is the adventure I had with the base clinic.  Now, I'm not knocking military doctors or Tricare or anything, so before you start jumping down my neck, let me explain this issue was created by the lovely scheduling desk and had nothing to do with any of the doctors/nurses/etc that I dealt with (surprisingly, I have had wonderful experiences with military doctors so far, so I guess I'm lucky)
About two months ago I had an infection that we thought we kicked.  However, after a week of antibiotics and still being in pain, I called the clinic per the Urgent Care's orders to be seen by an ENT (ear/nose/throat doctor).  This was around July 6th.
I didn't hear back, so I called again on July 9th.
I didn't hear back, so I called again on July 11th.
Are you sensing a pattern?  Guess what happened.  I'll bet you get the answer right.

So, after being in excruciating pain to the point I was ready to hop in DH's truck (gleefully, mind you...that's when you know that I'm sick--when I want to drive the truck) and take myself to the nearest hosptial, I called our First Shirt.
If you don't have your First Shirt's information, ladies, you need to get it.  They are an incredible resource that don't get tapped into enough.  They are there for us, and the liason when our husbands can't be.  Use them.  That's why they're there.
Of course, our First Shirt was furious and said it'd be taken care of immediately.
and miraculously, I got a phone call from the clinic at 7:30am the next morning wanting to schedule me for an appointment.  Funny how they just seemed to know the issue that I was dealing with even though I never talked to them beforehand....oh wait....

The ENT that I saw was phenomenal but  because of the incredible delay between the start of the infection and diagnosing what was going on, I lost some of my hearing in my right ear.  Basically what ended up happening was that I had a middle ear infection that travelled into my nasal cavity and my salivary glands and it ended up affecting my ability to hear low frequencies out of my right ear.
and as of my follow up appointment yesterday, the hearing isnt' fully back yet.  So stay tuned, we'll know in a month if it's going to be this way permanently.

It's been quite an adventure.  I'm not even mad, it's so horrible it's funny.
Yes, I'm a loon.  I knew that a long time ago.

But other than that, my life has been very  boring.
and I need to go finish some cake.....

I can't promise I'll save you any....

The Faithful Wife

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Day 138--I Miss My Husband

Dear Deployment,

I've been thankful to be so ridiculously busy that I haven't posted in almost a month, but tonight I'm home, and I'm realizing how badly I miss DH.  How badly I wish I could just be a normal newlywed, rather than spending our first year of marriage apart.

I'm usually not a downer, but tonight is just one of those nights.

Please forgive me.

The Faithful Wife

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Day 119--When DH's Away...His Girls will Play

Dear Deployment,

DH and I have had this cyclical issue since day 1 of our marriage.  We have argued over this topic more than any other.  It's been a thorn in my side and a pain for him to listen to.
What is this horrid thing?

Meet the table
Among many of my arguements is the fact it doesn't match any of our home decor.  Now, I'm no Martha Stewart when it comes to decorating, but the fact that everything else in our house is black wood, this light oak table just seemed out of place
One of these things is not like the of these things just doesn't belong....
You learn it as a toddler, so I don't know why DH put up such a fuss when I suggested getting a new table.

His counter-arguement?  "We don't need a new table.  We never have anyone over for dinner"
Yes, that's because we only have two chairs.  Therefore, we'll have people over for dinner if we go buy a new table.

But while he was home, I lost that arguement.

However, with him away, I may or may not have been sneaky and managed to get rid of said table and get this lovely gem off of Craigslist:

Isn't it lovely? (minus my mess on top, I promise I'm not sloppy).  Ah, matching's the little things in life.  DH just found out yesterday, but he realized there was nothing he could do about it, so he just sighed.  Yay! I win!

Also adding to the conundrum of DH's being gone, similar to the dishes issue or the laundry issue, is the grocery shopping issue.  Now, mind you I only go about once a month, but holy cow

Two hundred dollars later....I need to learn to eat Ramen more.

Oh, and I found the best free entertainment ever for puppy.  Ice cubes.  Here are some pictures of here playing with an ice cube (I'll have to record a video next time)

And with that, I will leave you with a video of my sister playing Guesstures, just so you can get some laughs.  She is entirely awesome.

I love my life. I love my family. I love my husband.
and I love our new table.

The Faithful Wife

Friday, July 22, 2011

Day 118--Holy lack of productivity, Batman!

Dear Deployment,

I must admit my infatuation with this fabulous discovery has made my ability to post and focus on things I should probably work on go to poo.  However, they were much needed distractions, as these last few weeks have been challenging but wonderful all in one.

I made two care packages for DH in the last 3 weeks.  The first one had my very first attempt at cake in a jar.  I think it turned out pretty well:

DH said it kept decently well, so I'll have to keep playing until I perfect it.  No need for him to go cake-less for three more months.  I was pretty excited.

I also put together a boudoir album for him.  I never thought I'd be one to do those kinds of pictures, but it was such a great experience and DH loves them.  Definately worth it and definately a confidence booster.

Because let's be honest, women never have self esteem issues....

And if you were paying attention, you would notice that I put a special little note of time in my cake references.....yes, we are down to only three more months!  Where does the time go?  It was March yesterday?!

Okay, puppy is whining to go out.  She's driving me crazy.  If anyone wants an adorable Belgian Tervuren puppy you can have her....I'll just want her back when it's time to snuggle.

The Faithful Wife

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Day 103--Time Consuming Discoveries

Dear Deployment,

I can't promise that I'll be writing frequently as of last night.  I made a fabulous discovery.

DH and I became addicted to the first two seasons before he left for his deployment, but Netflix didn't have the additional seasons available.  How disappointing.
However, while perusing my various choices for late night entertainment last night, I discovered that Season 3 was finally available.

I've wached 3 episodes in the last day....and plan to watch 3 more tonight.
Lord help me, but it is oh so good.  I'm such a history nerd (although it's not accurate in all respects, but it's fun to watch).

While I'm on the subject, I must encourage anyone who is a fan of similar shows to watch this gem:

Trust me.  You'll love it.

I also did a naughty naughty thing last night.  I ordered HBO without telling DH.  I just had to watch this show that everyone keeps talking about
You may never hear from me again.  I might be glued to my television set for the next, oh, eternity.

The Faithful Wife

Monday, July 4, 2011

Day 100--A Reason to Celebrate

Dear Deployment,

I find it ironic that our day 100 is actually the 4th of July.  Of all days to hit that big three digit mark, it's the celebration of all that DH spends his life defending.

I must admit though that this last week has been particularly difficult.  I've been rather absent due to personal illness (apparently I managed to contract an infection of my lymph nodes that swelled my right jaw and ear...awesome) and a rather severe instance of my dog contracting giardia.
I came home on Thursday to an apartment covered in sweet puppy's not so sweet poo and her looking super miserable.  Thankfully we caught it early and only had to spend a small fortune to save her.
She is on four prescriptions.  FOUR!
I don't think I've ever been on that many medications simultaneously EVER.

Goodness she's high maintenance.
but darn it she's cute.

Up until this morning, I hadn't been able to talk to DH since the 24th of June.  It stunk.  and honestly, I was mad.
I realize it's not his fault when he can't call or be online, but there are days when I wish that he could just be at my beck and call and just be there for me right when I need him.

But I guess that's part of this too: learning how to manage without having them here all the time.

It is definately past my bedtime (remember? I'm actually five years old, so my bedtime is like, 8pm) so I need to get my not so tiny hiney into my nice big cold bed.
but I'll update soon, because there is so many reasons I am blessed and so many things I am learning.

My heart is bursting to share them all with you.

The Faithful Wife

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Day 95--What do you mean, only 24 hours in a day?

Dear Deployment,

There is a little oddity that I have discovered similar to the laundry issue I encountered earlier in this deployment....

How in the world does a sink get like this?

 It is OVERFLOWING?!  This never happened before DH left
I'm convinced it's a deployment thing
and it's not like I'm not organized.  My house is spotless (mostly) and the mere 24 hours I have every day are well used

Oh goodness.  Can I have another hour?
The Faithful Wife

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Day 94--Your Timing is Impeccable

Dear Deployment,

I must admit you have impeccable (I am a horrible speller, and no I won't try to hide it) timing with just about everything.  DH and I were able to talk on Friday night but haven't been able to talk that time, I have managed to come down with a severe inner ear infection, fever and case of the "I need to organize my already organized house now" disorder.
Oh the things I could tell him if he'd get his adorable backside back on Skype.  Hopefully I'll get to talk to him today or tomorrow.

I also need to explain the $150 grocery bill before he checks our bank statement.  Those cheetoes were calling to me, how could I say no?
Fun fact: I'm actually a 5 year old in a twenty-something's body. Never let me go grocery shopping alone unless you want a cart full of cheetoes, ice cream and snack packs.  I ate macaroni and cheese for supper last night. With cheetos. You know you're jealous.

Puppy and I went to the dog park yesterday for the first time (on my sick day, don't judge--just because I'm in pain doesn't mean I can't take my puppy out for a grand ol' time).  I sat. She ran.  We were both entertained and I greatly enjoyed the benefits of a tired dog all of yesterday evening.
She's actually still sleeping on the kitchen floor. Love it.

I also wanted to share this video with you.  Many of my friends have their husbands deployed right now, so I'm in common company to some extent.  A good friend of mine was surprised by an early homecoming on Sunday evening--while I wasn't there due to my ear deciding to freak out, I was able to see pictures and this video of their meeting. 

I am firmly convinced that these are what make our time apart worth it.  While DH and I haven't been through a deployment separation until now, we were apart for the vast majority of our relationship (in our 16 month engagement, I saw him a grand total of a month) so I know somewhat how that first reunion feels.  For that moment, you forget all the crap you've been through and you just know that you're home again.

I can't wait for our turn.  Something like four more months to go, but when the time comes, you will be sure to see our video on this blog.  I will be bawling my eyes out, and yes, our puppy will be in it--she's his baby afterall!

Thank the Lord for homecomings.  Now hurry up with ours!

The Faithful Wife

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Day 92--I had a hot date

Dear Deployment,

You're helping me get in touch with my inner old person.  Yes, I am married now so my priorities are different...but seriously? I spent my Friday night steaming our curtains.
Oh yes, a seriously hot date.  Me, a fabric steamer and our wrinkly curtains.

Sexy, huh?  The right panel was done, I was still working on panel number two....
The worst part though? I enjoyed it!  I took pleasure in watching the wrinkles come out and running that steamer over those nasty looking curtains
yep, I'm old.

In other news, the truck problem? That's all fixed.  My bank account is drained, but DH now has a pretty, shiney, good as new red truck.  Now I just have to not crash it again before he comes home.

Life is good though.  My fur baby has been super well behaved this week.  I switched her to a grain free diet and she hasn't been sick since!  I'm definately happy about that since it's been an ongoing issue.  I should be a pet whisperer with my serious dog fixing skills.
She's mad at me right now though because I got her groomed this week.  But look how pretty she is!

I think she'll forgive me...once I take that bandana off of her.

Now off to get in touch with my inner domestic goddess....bread baking calls.

The Faithful Wife

Friday, June 17, 2011

Day 83--Why is my dog sick? again....

Dear Deployment,

I'd really like you to stop making my otherwise healthy (before DH deployed) puppy sick.  She's making me sad and worried and stressed.
Okay thanks.

The Faithful Wife

Monday, June 13, 2011

Day 79--Oh! The Things You Learn

Dear Deployment,

I've been somewhat absent lately, namely because my life has been mostly consumed by the stress of said truck from other posts...oh, and this little detail:
This is my car....not working.
Yep, now my car is dead on top of DH's truck's not so fabulous luck with my driving skills.  In my car's defense, it is 20 years old and oh, basically dead anyway, so it was bound to happen...but really?  Excellent timing, D'Artagnion (yes, I name my cars...I also name just about everything in my possession)
At this point, I'm just laughing, because seriously, what are the odds?
I guess the deployment curse likes to have the last laugh.

Between dealing with those two lovely motorized somewhat-working vehicles, I've been playing with our has now, officially, entered the teenager stage.

Go ahead, admit it, she's adorable.
that face gets me every time.

Shes currently sleeping in the bathroom....I caught her drinking out of the toilet today.  Pretty sure I was even less grossed out than she was by it.  You know it's time to clean the bathroom when your dog is disgusted by licking the toilet.
I'm getting ahead of myself here.

So, after some deep cleaning of the whole 700 sq. feet we have in our happy home, I still had to figure out a handy dandy little way to plan a baby shower for a dear friend.
So I did.
and I got in touch with my inner domestic, crafting goddess

Go ahead, be impressed.  I know I was.

So yes, I've been all over and everywhere.  Bumming rides here, crying when I have to drive DH's truck there....but I am also learning many valuable lessons that I wouldn't have learned if DH was actually, oh you know, on this side of the hemisphere.

Just to name a few:
  • I learned how to call a tow truck and negotiate prices/discounts on rental cars
  • I learned not to panic when your beloved named car decides not to start
    • I also learned that dad's are a helpful DH substitute when this occurs
  • I learned how to bribe people to drive me places
  • I learned how to finagle fun and creative ways to save money
  • I learned how to take a vehicle to multiple places, ALONE, and get honest estimates out of people
  • I learned how to file an insurance claim
  • I learned how to teach our puppy to shake, speak, spin and lay down on her bed
I am currently learning how to drive a monsterous's probably going to kill me.
But above any of this, I am learning my true capabilities as an independent young woman....learning to have confidence in myself and what I know how to do.
I am learning that it's okay to ask for help if you don't know how to do something.
and I'm learning that this whole process is a lot more enjoyable when coupled with lots of laughter and the occasional glass of Riseling

So you know what? Even though we're pushing close to day 100 of DH being gone, I am surprising myself in ways I never before expected.
It's fun when that happens.

The Faithful Wife

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Day 66---I'm Starting to Belive in the "Deployment Curse"

Dear Deployment,

I promise I'm not a pessimist...however, you haven't been working in my favor lately.
Remember this post or this one?  Let's add today's to the mix involving the truck, shall we?

Yep, another oops.
A bigger one.
I'm dead.

I'm never driving that truck again.
stupid bumper.

The Faithful (and soon to be murdered) Wife

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Day 64--I Have a Waterbottle Permanantly Glued to My Hand

Dear Deployment,

Training puppies is hard.  My naughty naughty (and super adorable) puppy won't stop barking.  So I'm doing what our trainer told me to: spraying her with water EVERY TIME she barks
I've had this water bottle glued to my hand for the last hour
Dear puppy, please learn fast, this is going to get old quick

I've determined that I'm doomed as a mother.  Sweet puppy has allergies so I gave her Benadryl.  I almost cried when she got tired.  I don't even want to think what's going to happen when DH and I have two-legged, not-nearly-as-hairy children.  Lord save us.

Honestly, I'm writing this blog to postpone doing my laundry.  There's a pile the size of Mt. Wannahaukaloogie (name that movie anyone?) sitting on our giant cold bed.  I've been putting it off for, oh, a month.  I don't mind washing it.
It's the folding part I want to kick. No thanks, I'd rather not.
As in, I'd hire help to do it.  Awesome.

I'm going to go visit my family for Memorial Day.  I am so blessed to have them so close--just about 45 minutes away, in fact.  I'll have to drive DH's truck though, definately not looking forward to that part.  Yuck.

Well, I need to go tackle the never ending pile of clean clothes...but I guess I can be thankful they're clean and not stinky dirty...
gotta look for that silver lining!

The Faithful Wife

Friday, May 27, 2011

Day 62--When Waiting for that Phone Call

Dear Deployment,

It has been what feels like forever since I last heard from DH.  I haven't talked to him since last Thursday--but I am thankful for the brief email I received yesterday.  You learn to cling to those little things, and I'm thankful that I'm learning those lessons now rather than a few years from now.

So what do I do when I wait for that phone call?  Everything I do normally--just a bit more thoroughly or observantly!

I am currently watching my ridiculous puppy chase her tail.  She is the most hilarious creature I've ever met.  I am so thankful for her, even on days like today when I wanted to clamp her barking mouth shut....she's gotten so loud.  Here's a picture of her I took earlier today, she's so selfish:

I was finally able to get a quote on DH's truck.  It will be fixed by next month, so I definately feel much better about that whole situation.  Hopefully he's pleased by the results.  We shall see, I guess!

Sometimes I just wish I could pick up the phone and call him.  There are so many things I want to tell him, and by the time I get to talk to him, I've either forgotten or it doesn't seem nearly as important as it did when I first wanted to tell him.
I guess that's just the learning part of this process.

Here's to a hope of a phone call.

The Faithful Wife

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Day 59--Playing Mommy, Allergies and BBQ

Dear Deployment,

You've been keeping me busy, in fact, that I'd neglected to write for a week.  Shame on me, I know.  Between work and trying to get everything else accomplished, I don't have much time left in my days.  However, writing has always been a big part of my life, and I've noticed that my days go much better when I get a chance to write, so I'll try to be more diligent about posting.

I get to play mommy.  One of the perks of working at a daycare is all of the extra "kid time" I get to have.  DH and I want a family some day, but considering we've only been married seven months, it's a bit too early to add to our clan.  I get my baby fixes from friends and work.  I get one handsome man every morning at 5am.  We hang out until we go to school around 8.  He's sure a sweetie.
Starting this evening, I get another little guy to add to the mix, except he's staying with me for four days.  His mom is having twins and asked if I could watch him for a few days while she's at the hospital.  I was happy to oblige.

One thing about where we live is the storms.  I don't mind them, since I've grown up with storms, but I know a lot of my friends get really scared by them.  Considering how violent some of the storms parts of the country have gotten, I feel blessed to know that they haven't hit us that hard here (minus some hail, but that's not a major).
Allergies here are a beast, though.  I am not a fan.  I swear I wake up coughing every morning and I haven't been able to breathe out of my nose since last September.  Even puppy has been affected--both her back legs look like chew sticks they're itching her so bad.  I'm going to call the vet and get her a steroid shot later this week--when I picked her up from daycare, they suggested that would be a good idea.

Perhaps the thing that bothers me the most with DH being gone is the quiet, and the lack of reason to cook a real meal.  I was getting so sick of ramen that I called a good friend of mine and invited her over for dinner last night.  We had BBQ chicken and it was oh, so good.
You never know the value of friendships until you have a BBQ chicken moment.

I need to head to work, but I promise to post more frequently.  Busy days, busy nights.
Bring my husband home

The Faithful Wife

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Day 52--Why am I having nightmares?

Dear Deployment,

I've never been a sound sleeper, but I usually sleep through the night with minimal (albiet half awake) issues.  For some reason the last two days I've been having nightmares that are preventing me from any normal sleep patterns that might still exist in my recent memory.
For my own sanity, and to see if anyone else in my situation has experienced a similar phenomenon, I'm going to write about my dream from last night.  It's not nearly as terrifying or heart-wrending in writing, but it's stuck with me all morning and I can't seem to shake the feeling of heartbreak I woke up with this morning.

Imagine basic military training graduation. Something like this:
And combine it with the mass chaos and amount of people as Woodstock.

That's our setting.
DH was back in tech school (although it was nothing like his tech school) but he was deployed simultaneously.  I hadn't seen him in quite a while apparently, and was anxiously awaiting being in his arms again.  My in-laws were with me, which is odd, since our "rule" is that no other family is allowed at reunions except for us, and my mother in law was telling me that he isn't going to want to see me and that his only focus was going to be on her.
That didn't bother me.
However, when they let the military members loose to find their families, I couldn't find DH.  I looked all around, crying and asking anyone if they had seen him. He wasn't anywhere to be found.  My heart sank.

Then I went back to where my in laws had been standing, and DH was sitting on the ground near them.  Except I didn't recognize him.  I couldn't figure out if it was him or not.  My father in law said that it was him and that I should stop being so silly and go say hi.
Except when I got closer, all that was there was the shell of DH's body.  His eyes were lifeless and he didn't even turn to look at me.  He didn't even care that I was standing there.

I spent the remainder of the dream yelling, screaming and crying, begging him to hold me, comfort me, tell me it's all going to be okay.
but he never came back to himself.
and I was alone.

I woke up crying this morning.  I felt like my whole body was shaking.
I don't know if other wives have bizarre nightmares while their husbands are deployed, but I hope that this doesn't last too's really starting to get to me.

The Faithful Wife

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Day 49--Oh, to be 10 Again

Dear Deployment,

I was able to celebrate my little sister's 10th birthday with her today.  It seems like just yesterday she was born and I was a sixth grader...time flies way too fast for my liking sometimes.  She's really growing to be a beautiful young lady
My cousin and I were talking about how much simpler life was when we were 10.  Those things that mean so much then, really don't end up meaning so much down the road.  The worries we had then were in relation to homework and how much TV time we were allowed.
and I was fortunate to have an intact family structure with parents who loved (and continue to love) each other dearly.
Life was so simple.
Can I be 10 again?

I'll admit though, I really enjoy being an adult most days.  I'm finally learning how to take myself seriously, which I guess is a good thing since it's about darn time I did that (considering I've been a college graduate for over a year now).  I'm learning to be comfortable in my own skin....
speaking of skin
I've lost 4 pounds and an inch all over since I started working with my trainer.  Looking at this deployment in the "big picture" I am already amazed at how much good I am choosing to embrace.  Without the deployment, I wouldn't have gotten a trainer.  Without the deployment, I wouldn't have broken my husband's truck and had to learn how to assert myself with car people.  Without the deployment, I'd still be right where I was a month and a half ago.
and life is too short to not grow every day.

So while I miss my husband and I wish he was laying here next to me in our (still freezing cold) bed, I am also thankful for this challenge.  Thankful for the opportunities I'm being presented.
Thankful that I'm learning that I'm not 10 years old and that I am capable of so much more than I ever dreamed possible.

And for those of you who wondered: yes, I told him about the truck.  No, I'm not dead. Yes, he was disappointed. Yes, my entire summer trip fund has been depleted trying to repair it. No, I'm never driving that truck again. Yes, I have learned my lesson: only drive small cars from now on.

ah, the lessons learned
The Faithful Wife

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Day 45--Waiting for that Phone Call

Dear Deployment,

I'm going to be in big trouble.  Remember that post a while back regarding DH's truck?  Yeah, I made an oopsie.
A size of my hand, dent in the side of his beloved truck oopsie.
So if there aren't anymore blog posts after this one, it means I told DH and he killed me with the death stare...because I know I'm going to get it.

That is the worst part of deployments, I've decided: not being able to talk to them right when you want/need to do so.  I've been harboring this guilt and nervousness for two whole days now, just waiting for that phone call...but I never can seem to catch him online.  It's such a frustrating feeling.
You feel very helpless.

I am fortunate I get my two phone calls a week....but I must admit that sometimes I am selfish and wish that he could call more--I miss him a lot
even when I know I'm going to get lectured on why I shouldn't be driving his truck in the first place.

I'm praying he'll be able to call today. The stress is driving me quite insane.  I'm not a fan.

In other news, puppy went to daycare yesterday. (Yes, I'm one of those people now).  I wish I had discovered it sooner--she's so well behaved and sweet.  I'm a fan.  This is going to be a lifesaver, I think.

I need to get going to work, but for those of you who are willing, please pray I can finally talk to DH, that he receives the news of my big oopsie well and that we can get it fixed for not too much....
yup, big trouble (as my little brother would say)

The Faithful Wife

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Day 42--Holy Productivity, Batman!

Dear Deployment,

I am kicking being idle's butt.  I have gotten so much accomplished today and it's not even 1300!  That's one thing I've noticed since DH left--I'm much more productive! haha, I guess not having him around as a handsome distraction aids in that.

In my last post, I was trying to keep it serious, due to the nature of events, but I did promise to post some hilarious pictures from last weekend.  Prepare yourself.
Meet the game of Quelf:

It is probably the most pointless, most hilarious game ever invented.  Please try it.  You'll understand.  Here was one of the tamer challenges:

So anyway, there's been a lot of laughs lately.  For which I'm very thankful.

DH and I were finally able to Skype on Thursday night.  I thought he'd never get internet, so needless to say, I was very thankful to see him.  He's doing so well, and I know that his flight will benefit from his leadership.  I'm so proud to be his wife, I really am.

I am now off to a baby shower, so I will have to end this post, but keep in mind that I'm still kicking this deployment's butt--and I can't claim that in my own strength.  Go read the book "God Strong", you'll understand :)

The Faithful Wife

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Day 36--Breaking News, Heart in My Throat

Dear Deployment,

One of the most evil people in modern history is dead.  The news of Osama Bin Laden's death broke less than an hour ago, it's all over Facebook, Google, the news.  Part of me is celebrating right now because of the joy of knowing that 9/11, in a small way, has been avenged.  All of those who died can know that the mastermind behind their murders is now facing God and facing all that he has done.
Part of me feels sick, because I know there will be international backlash from his death.  DH is in a predominately Muslim country right now.  While he's not supposed to be in any sort of real danger, part of me knows that because of today's events, he could be put at risk.  It scares me.  To say it doesn't would simply be lying--I am scared right now and that is the God-honest truth.

In my fear, however, I have hope.  I have peace.  I know that the Lord is walking with him and that angels are surrounding him.  We live in a scary world, but we serve a God bigger than that.  I know my husband will be okay--that he will come home to me
it might just be later than we were hoping.
All I can do right now is pray and hope that DH doesn't get forward deployed.  Pray that DH gets to stay where he is now.  Pray that I can talk to him soon and be reassured by the sound of his voice.

Speaking of hearing his voice, I was blessed to get a phone call from him early (read: 2am) on Friday morning.  I felt so spoiled to talk to him, so blessed and so reminded of all the reasons I love him dearly.

I could talk about all the things I did this weekend, but it just doesn't seem appropriate right now.  My heart is somber, my voice is lifted in prayer.
and I give thanks for the Lord's protection.

The Faithful Wife

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Day 33--One Missed Call

Dear Deployment,

I missed his phone call yesterday.  I was at work, and I'm not allowed to carry my phone with me.  It was 1315 our time, 2115 his time.  When I went on my break and heard his voicemail, I broke down.  I cried.  I wanted to scream.  How could I miss my DH's phone call?
I am still waiting to hear from him.  I know he's there safely, but I want to talk to him so bad.  I want to tell him about my days and our puppy and the maintenence order I had to put in for our apartment and how I need to go grocery shopping but I can't manage to convince myself to leave our puppy any longer than physically necessary.

It's almost been a's been the slowest week of my life

but that means we are almost one week down--one week closer to being together.
so it will be okay

The Faithful Wife

Monday, April 25, 2011

Day 30--Everything I Wish I Could Say

Dear Deployment,

I'm still waiting to hear from him again.  Two agonizing days not knowing what his schedule is, what he's doing, what he's thinking or even where he is. I know he's safe, but I just miss his voice.
I want to tell him to watch the mail, since I sent his first care package today.  I had all sorts of odds and ends in there, but made sure to include a batch of his favorite brownies.
hopefully they keep.

I want to tell him about the pretty flowers I bought yesterday for his mother.  There were too many in the bouquet, so I brought some home to put in a small vase here.
I love purple. I also love daisies.
DH never buys me flowers.  His one flaw is that he doesn't have a romantic bone in his body (he says he has one, he just chooses not to use it).  So I buy them for myself.  I think they liven up a home and make it more inviting.

I also love to randomly send people flowers.  If DH wasn't so dang far away, I would just send him some--I'd make sure there was something manly involved though, like a Tonka Truck ribbon on the vase...or something.  I could market that...oh the possibilities!

I also wish I could show him my painting.  I'm really enjoying it--and it makes me feel artistic, even though I'm creatively challenged.
Hopefully it looks cool when I'm done.  I want to frame it and put it in our second bathroom we don't have....our next house will have one though, and I'm doing a port/marina theme.  I decide these things years in advance.  It's worked out well so far.

I would also like to tell him about our ridiculous puppy.  This is our ridiculous puppy:

She was getting scolded.

Puppy is ridiculous, though.  She makes me laugh all the time.  She also frustrates me frequently.  Sometimes I think I have a very hairy toddler on my hands.
I opened my eyes this morning to her face less than 2 inches from mine.  Just staring.
I about peed my pants.
I love this animal. How could you not?

Pretty dang cute, if I do say so myself.

I wish I could tell him all sorts of things, but I guess I can wait a few more days.  Suspense will make the stories all the more dramatic--and I do like to be animated.  I guess I can use this to my advantage.

We'll see how this goes.

The Faithful Wife

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Day 29--Confetti, Easter Eggs, and the In-Laws

Dear Deployment,

Today was our first official holiday apart because of a deployment.  He has arrived safely in his originally destined country--we still don't know if he'll be heading to Afghanistan yet.  We were able to talk for two minutes yesterday, for which I was thankful.  I almost hung up on him though because I didn't recognize the phone number and there was a delay....
I'm glad I waited that extra second.
It was so good to hear his voice.  It sounded like him, just more tired.  He hadn't really slept since leaving on Friday, so he was exhausted after two days of travel.  It sounds like he has his own room for now, which will be nice, especially when we have Skype dates, so that we don't have to feel as though someone is listening in to our conversations.

I can't wait for him to get his internet up and working...two minute phone calls already stink and letters are slow.  I sent him an email this morning and posted on his Facebook wall today, but obviously, am still waiting for a reply.  Guh, sometimes this whole concept of him getting settled in really drives me loony.

I must admit, though, that I am somewhat relieved this deployment is finally underway.  The stress of just waiting for it was almost too much towards the end of the waiting.  I hate that DH is gone, but I'm also glad that we're finally in the deployment phase--it means we can start our countdown to being together again.  It means we can settle into a routine finally.
I want to hear from him so bad.  I want to tell him about my day today.

But I guess I'll tell you for now, and add pictures as I receive them.

My immediate family celebrated Easter yesterday afternoon.  As usual, the Easter Egg Hunt was a contact sport resulting in at least two children throwing fits (one of whom is over the age of 20--and no, it was not me).  Easter is probably the most important holiday in my family because it is the day that our Savior completed what He came to do--Save us!  It was a blessed time together and I was happy to share that with them.
I had to wake up early this morning to drive an hour and a half to my in-laws (we are fortunate to be stationed close to family right now) for brunch.  I can't remember the last time I ate that much food.  I'm still learning to navigate the whole "in law" business, but I think it's getting easier as time goes on....DH is my safety blanket when it comes to them, so without him here, I do feel a bit more timid around them.
but darn it, I'm going to keep working at it

Puppy was not happy with me today since she spent the majority of it in her kennel.  She wouldn't snuggle with me when I got home.
I guess I probably deserved it.

Around 4, I went to the Colonel's house to have dinner with his family.  We are blessed to have a squadron commander who actually cares about the families of his troops.  There was about 5 families there, some of whom just didn't have family around, some of whom whose spouses were deployed like mine.  I have never felt more welcome by a family that isn't already family.
We laughed and joked the entire afternoon.  His wife is also the best cook I've been around in a long time.  I'll try to post some of these recipes she served--she promised to share them with me.

Then, the fun began.  We had confetti eggs we had to break over each others heads.  They were supposed to be for the kids, but the Colonel's daughters ended up getting everyone--including their dad.  It was pretty funny watching them chase him around the yard.  It was such a fun time--and for a moment, I forgot how bummed I was that DH wasn't here to share our first Easter together.

I've started painting.  I'm no artist, so it's just paint-by-number, but I am amazed at how relaxing it has been.  I'll post my progress with that as I start to work on it.  It's nothing fancy, but the concentration really relaxes me.  I'm also hoping to knock out a few projects.
We'll see how productive I end up being!

Since it's late, and I have to work in the morning, I will end my post here.  Each day is one closer to being with my love again.  Each day we grow stronger.

The Faithful Wife

Friday, April 22, 2011

Day 27--I'm in Denial

Dear Deployment,

I'm sitting here on my couch, waiting for my toes to dry.  A good friend of mine came over tonight to keep me company so we're doing pedicures.  I'm not looking forward to her leaving--the house will be quiet then, and I'll have to face the truth of our new reality:
DH left this morning.
My sister went with us to the airport early this morning.  It was a lot more surreal this time around since there were other people leaving with him this time.  It was almost like I didn't get to say goodbye like I wanted leaving the airport only temporarily, as if I would be back later in the day to pick him up.
His flight left super early, so we hardly had any time to say goodbye.  My sister was kind enough to get a few pictures of us as we were saying goodbye.
That hug was far too short.
It was hard, too, since he wasn't in uniform--people at least understand why you're crying when hugging someone in uniform....I just got funny looks instead.

My sister and I were talking about how interesting airports are, how many stories that come and go everyday when you walk through them.  I wish people had understood our story today so that our time could have been sweeter, quieter, less rushed.

They started to board, and I felt like it was a hurried goodbye.  I hate not feeling like I was able to completely say goodbye, but he had to go--he has a job to do over there, and I will continue to do my job here: supporting him as his wife, proud of her husband and proud to serve in my own, quiet way.

I'm still in denial.  It's as if he'll walk through our front door at any moment.  His "food" (I don't like pickles, vinegar or beer) is still in our fridge.  His clothes are still in the dirty laundry basket.  His keys are hanging by the door.
as if he hasn't even left yet.

I think it will probably become real tonight, when I'm back in our cold bed.  As I am sleeping, he is somewhere over the Atlantic (flying first class, he was thrilled).

We will be celebrating our six month wedding anniversary tomorrow.  I didn't expect the celebration to include him being far away
but then again, this lifestyle is full of surprises.

I have so much to learn.  This deployment has hardly even started, but we will grow and we will learn.
So while we had to say goodbye for the moment, this is just one day closer to being together again.
All my love.  Safe travels, my darling.

The Faithful Wife

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Day 25--I'm Going through Puberty

Dear Deployment,

Puberty ended for me almost 10 years ago, so why am I an emotional basketcase again?  I keep getting angry at DH and crying and venting and crying and laughing and then crying again.
I swear I need to be institutionalized.

I'm so stressed with him leaving.  I just want to curl up in a ball and wait it out until November.
You're getting me today,'s days like today that make the next 6+ months feel unbearable.

The Faithful Wife

Monday, April 18, 2011

Day 23--A Whole New Ballgame

Dear Deployment,

I won't lie, I'm scared.  DH told me last night that he found out while at training they might be sending him to Afghanistan instead.  The place he was originally going I can do....Afghanistan is a whole different ballgame.  People die there.  People come home hurt.
People come home different.
That terrifies me.

What's funny is that this isn't even for certain--nothing in the military ever is.  But just the knowledge that it could happen kept me up all night.  I don't want my husband going there...not after I've been preparing myself for one location these last six months only to find out that he's not even going there.

But we don't have answers...and won't until he gets to his original assigned country.  He leaves for there on Friday morning.
This is all happening so fast, but answers won't come soon enough either.
Hurry up and wait, I guess.

The Faithful Wife

Friday, April 15, 2011

Day 20--A Welcome, A Goodbye

Dear Deployment,

DH came home yesterday evening from training.  We don't know how long he will be here, we only know it's sometime in the next week he's leaving.
Do you know what's weird?  I'm already irritated with him.  I know how horrible that sounds, but let me explain.  Over the last 3 weeks, I was able to establish a routine.  I had consistency and a way of getting things done.  He's disrupted that.
Don't get me wrong, he can disrupt whatever he wants to, I'm just glad he's here.
but now I have to readjust again.
and that means that sometime in the next week, I get to readjust from my readjustment. again.

It's bittersweet that he's home.  I love DH being around.  Puppy loves DH being around--she was so so excited to see him yesterday! but that means we have to say goodbye again.
and I have the feeling this goodbye is going to be harder than the last one.

But each day I pray for the strength to stay strong through it.  No promises I won't cry though.

The Faithful Wife

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Day 18--I Can't Feel My Arms

Dear Deployment,

I made myself a promise before DH left that I would take our time apart to really focus on developing myself--including getting myself into shape.  Who would have thought that adding a husband would also add about 17 pounds to my not-so-trim waistline?  So, true to my self, I followed through and got a personal trainer.
We had our second session tonight
I think I told her that I hated her approximately four times in less than twenty minutes.
yes. I am a pansy.

But I will follow through.  I am determined to allow myself to grow and experiment during this process...that's why I chopped 13 inches off of my hair!  I'm looking forward to seeing how much I am going to evolve in these next six and a half months.  It's very exciting!

In the meantime, as in, right now, I can't feel my arms.  I never want to see a free weight again in my life.  Please keep them far away.

The Faithful Wife

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Day 17--Smaller Grocery Bill, Larger Laundry Pile

Dear Deployment,

The smaller grocery bill makes sense.
So why do I have more laundry in a week to do than I did when DH was home?

Ah the many riddles of deployments back home.

The Faithful Wife

Monday, April 11, 2011

Day 16--You'd Think I'd Learn

Dear Deployment,

You'd like I'd learn by now, at my age, not to watch anything remotely scary...ever.  Well, if you know me at all, you'd know that I have a slight obsession with murder mysteries and the sort--especially those related to history.
You know where I'm going with this...
I watched a Discovery documentary on Jack the Ripper.  At 9 o'clock at night.
horrible decision really.

If DH didn't have such acute senses, my dog would be laying next to me in the bed right now (DH said absolutely no way in the world our dog can sleep with me....I'm doing my best to oblige)
Guh, I'm a sucker.

Today was a good day, a better day anyways.  I woke up in a mood, which is never good.  You ladies know what I'm talking about: the mood.  The one where the world's best choice (which I'm apparently not good at making) is to just let us sulk.  The morning started that way.
Puppy's antics havent' been helping.  so so naughty. but that's a story for another day.

I ended up not going to church tonight.  I just couldn't handle being around a bunch of women whose husbands were home.  Selfish? yes. Honest? Absolutely.  I needed to either be with women who know what I'm going through right now or be alone.
A good friend of mine then invited me to Zumba.  Being the sucker that I am (and knowing my personal trainer would kick my not-so-trim backside if I didn't go), I went.
Holy gracious it was painful the best thing ever.  and I mean that!  I had a blast
but my legs hurt

Ah endorphins.  They're so wonderful.

Then my best friend came over (aka: bestie) and she did homework while I ate ice cream to null the work out that I put trainer will be so proud.

So, today's moral:
Eat ice cream promptly after Zumba
Don't beat the dog when she wakes you up at 5am
don't watch shows that you know will give you the heebie jeebies

Maybe by November I'll have those ones down pat--minus the don't beat the dog one....just kidding.

The Faithful Wife

P.S. My paper chain is getting smaller and smaller :)

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Day 15--How I Broke a Truck, and Other Reasons I Wish My Husband was Home

Dear Deployment,

It's all your fault.  My husband's beloved truck has a rock chip in the paint of his bumper.  He's going to kill me....quite literally, kill me.  I haven't told him yet.  My goal is to break it to him gently--my parents suggested I do it while naked.  We'll see what ends up happening.
I promise I wasn't trying to break it.  The chip it this itty bitty little thing in the bumper, about the size of a dime.  But it will surely be the end of me be a reason my husband won't let me drive the truck again....maybe I do need to practice my sweet, "I'm naked, I love you and oops, by the way, I chipped paint off your truck" voice....
See, if DH was still home, the rock chip would have been HIS fault, and not mine.  Sigh, oh well....I'm making stuffed peppers when he comes home.  Maybe I'll tell him while I'm naked, serving him stuffed peppers and acting innocent.
It has to work.

It's been officially over 2 weeks since DH left for training with this deployment.  Only a few more days (read: THURSDAY) until he gets to come home for a little less than a week before they are making him leave.  I have mixed feelings about him coming home.
Don't get me wrong, I am absolutely thrilled beyond words that I get to see my husband, but that means I have to say goodbye again.  The first goodbye was already hard enough, and this time I don't even want to think about what is going to happen once I drop him off at the airport.  I'm already dreading it.
I just want it to be November already.

Another reason DH needs to come home is that I am spending way too much money on things I don't need groceries.  I bought Cheetos tonight.  I think I've regressed to age 5.  My pantry and refrigerator look like the doings of a handful of fourth graders run amok in the grocery store.  This could be really bad.
When DH is home, I am organized and meticulous when it comes to shopping.  Nope. I think I've forgotten everything that I've perfected in the last 6 months of our marriage.
Yep, my bank account is doomed.

I also don't do laundry anymore.  I can't find my black sweater....

Moral of the story: I think I'm losing my mind. I can't decide who is running this house today, me or our puppy.

Don't even get me started on puppy.  She's "being a teenager" according to our trainer.  If she keeps "being a teenager" she's going to start being one dead little doggie (just kidding, I would never actually hurt her, but darn it, I think my hair has gone grey today)

The emotional rollercoaster of this deployment is stressful, but you know what?  I think I am going to kick this deployment's butt.  Now, let's get hubby home and get these next 6 and a half months rolling!

The Faithful Wife

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Day 11-Trusting God More than Myself

Dear Deployment,

I feel like this is an exercise in trust. Ironically, I've always been a worry-wart, which is funny since I married into the military which is just a recipe for a brain meltdown.  With everything going on between work and puppy and home and DH's deploying....finding out about more stress really takes the cake.
Yes, I am talking about the proposed government shutdown.  It would impact us both, since he's military and I'm a government employee.  It's so frustrating entering into a new situation where things are again uncertain

but then again, this is our life.
and this is where I think God is putting me through his own version of bootcamp.  This is an exercise in trust.  My constant cleaning of the house is an exercise in discipline.  Making sure my DH's truck (read: his mistress) is ding-free is a lesson in responsibility.  Maybe this deployment will be good for me afterall.

So far, today has been good.  I won't get to talk to DH since they're doing night exercises (and the time difference doesn't help matters), but I was blessed to get a Facebook chat from him this morning before he left.
It's funny how those little things make our days.  I really am blessed though.

Today's post will be short since I am exhausted from work and ready to hit the sack. I'm looking forward to a certain number of days from now when he will be home to visit one last time before the deployment truly begins.
I'll get hugs and snuggles and time with my baby
and let's not forget a few frolicks in our nice big bed :)  (Hey! I'm married, I can say that)

Hurry up, November.  I want my husband home.
but in the meantime, let's get down to business.  I plan on graduating at the top of this class.
Ready. Set. Grow.

The Faithful Wife

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Day 10-Hello Double Digits

Dear Deployment,

It's official: we've hit the double digits.  It doesn't feel like he left all that long ago, but at the same time,  it feels like an eternity since he held me last.  I hope this is a sign that this is going to fly by....

I made a paper chain to help get this deployment going faster.  Sometimes I swear I'm a 22 year old in a 4 year old's body, but you know what? if it helps me, then I say awesome.  I secretly look forward to bedtime when I can take off another link and watch that chain get smaller.

At my Bible study on Sunday,we were discussing strategies for dealing with deployments for kids....and what was surprising to me was that a lot of those suggestions, would also work for us women who have no children yet.  We need routine, we need things to keep us busy, we need security in our relationship.  These are basic needs that need to be met for anyone of any age going through a deployment.

So my goals for this deployment are simple: Create a routine.  Make traditions.  Allow myself to acknowledge when I'm struggling but also hold to the joy that can only come from the Lord.  They seem simple, but I really believe that they will make all the difference.
I've also started memorizing scripture to help me remember God's promises to me.  The one I'm working on right now is from Joshua 1:9
 "Be strong and courageous, do not be terrified; do not be discourged for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go"

I am holding to that verse as a reminder that in my own strength, I can't do this, but the Lord will uphold me and will be with me in every high and low caused by our circumstances.

It's comforting to know that the God I serve is greater than any deployment.  There is power in that.

The Faithful Wife

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Day 8-One Week Down, So Many to Go

Dear Deployment,

I have done really well so far-I feel strong and able to handle this.
or at least I did until 5 minutes ago.

I can do the brave face thing, sometimes it's easy in fact....but for some reason, this evening has been difficult.  I miss my husband.  I want to feel his arms around me.  I want to share dinner with him.  I want to snuggle.
and let's just face it....I'm sex deprived.

It's been one week and one day since he left.  I haven't cried yet...but I feel close to crying tonight.  I'm lonely.  I hate this quiet apartment.  I just want him home.

I am fortunate enough to be able to go to a Bible Study of military wives and our current topic is coping with deployment.  How apropos, especially for me in this season of our lives.  I never thought I'd be spending our first anniversary alone, my 23rd birthday....our 6 month anniversary.  This is so much more than I ever saw us doing
and I know we can do it
but this is hard today

I am trying to get into these new shows that everyone is talking about: Army Wives and Coming Home.
Army Wives is hard--seeing them cope with someone dying in action...that's my greatest fear.  I don't want to be a widow at 23.  It terrifies me beyond words.  I don't know what I would do--the thought paralyzes me.
I wish that he could just stay home where it's safe.  But I know that he wouldn't be happy--he loves his job.  He loves serving.  and I love that by being beside him allows me to serve
even on hard nights like today.

Coming Home just makes me cry.  It's so emotional for me because I know how those families feel.  I know the gut wrenching feeling of having them gone and the roller coaster of waiting for them to walk off of that airplane.
Good Lord I'm a mess.

I wish I could talk to him today.  I miss him so much.  I want to tell him how puppy did today at her training class, how much improvement she has made, her new favorite places in the house.
I want to tell him how I finally used my blender and made a homemade Jamba Juice.
I love him so much.

and I hope tomorrow is easier.  I know it will be.

The Faithful Wife

Friday, April 1, 2011

Day 6-The World's Greatest Invention

Dear Deployment,

You'll be happy to know that I am writing this from work on my lunch break.  Since I was so lazy as to not post yesterday, I figured that I would actually sit my not so tiny hiney down and write this afternoon rather than wait until tonight when I convince myself that I'm just too tired to move off of our fur covered couch.
So there.

To be honest with you, the last couple of days haven't felt too horrible.  DH has almost been gone a week, and so far it's mostly smooth sailing (minus the puppy being a bit more ridiculous than I had hoped).  She is doing far better and I'm looking forward to coming home to a happy, healthy puppy once I'm off of work tonight.  I'm also enjoying the fact she let me sleep through the night again.  It's the little things in life....

I feel very blessed right now because with DH away at training, we didn't think it would be possible for him to get his internet hooked up.  For me, as long as I know, I'm okay with that.  So imagine my surprise when all of a sudden last night, I see his username pop up on my Skype.  He was able to get internet in his room and we were able to see each other's faces last night while talking.
It was the best thing ever.

I'm still convinced I married the world's handsomest man.  I know you're probably all jealous, but I don't mind--I got myself quite the catch....the sea bass among river bass, the amberjack among tuna.  He's all mine....and no, I don't know why I just used fishing references, especially since I haven't been fishing since I was six years old.
Oh well, it must be working with a bunch of toddlers that is making my brain go retrograde.

Never underestimate the power of seeing your love.  To see their faces, look at their eyes.  It's the best thing in the world.  It's better than anything I can think of that would relatively compare.  I am truly blessed.

I'm hoping that I will get to talk to him again tonight.  It's frustrating, knowing there will be days when we won't get to talk, but each time we do I hold onto that and it gets me through until the next time I can hear his voice....
....or be even more blessed and see his handsome face.

The Faithful Wife

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Day 4-Hashbrowns and Pancakes

Dear Deployment,

I love breakfast for dinner.  I always have--I think my mom got us hooked on it as kids and I've never looked back.  This deployment is working out well for my rather unnatural cravings for poached eggs and toast with hashbrowns and pancakes at 2000.  DH never has been a fan of breakfast for dinner, unless I'm making french toast.
and I don't make french toast.
I think it tastes funny.

A friend of mine and I went out for Ihop tonight to indulge our hankering for all things breakfast after a particuarly long day at work and it was very needed.  With all of the stress of the last few days compounded upon the anticipation of the last five months, I needed to get out of my house and just laugh a little.
and we did.

Puppy is feeling much better today.  I am being constantly reminded of the blessing of friendship through this deployment.  Another friend of mine sat in our apartment all day "puppy-sitting" our fur baby while I was at work.  The vet put her on a prescription diet for the next week and I can tell it's working: she's running laps through the house again.
Funny how the things that used to drive me crazy I'm now thrilled exist.

This post is going to be incredibly short in comparison to my other ones, simply because the three hours of sleep combined with the nine hours of work today are taking their toll.  My bed, albiet cold, is calling, and I am gladly going to answer.

The Faithful Wife

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Day 3-Murphy's Law Should be Renamed

Dear Deployment,

Whoever came up with the concept of Murphy's Law (probably someone named Murphy, but let's just be honest: Murphy was actually the last name of a guy in the military and his wife came up with the term after realizing that everytime he deployed, everything went wrong)
It should go something like this:
Everything that could go wrong, will go wrong the moment your loved one leaves for a deployment.  See? Just needs an addendum.

So why, do you ask, do I suggest such changes to a long-held rule?
Let's just say that it started with a trip to the doggie ER.

I went to work today and dropped puppy off at the groomers to get pampered while I was away.  When I returned to pick her up at 6, I was informed that she developed a severe case of diahrrea during the day.
No big deal though, it's happened before, so we go home and lo and behold, it happens again.  Now she won't eat, drink or play and she's laying by the front door like she's dying.
Panic mode.

So I called a friend of mine and asked what I should do and we decided to take her into the emergency vet clinic since she was acting so lethargic.  Thankfully, her husband was also able to come so that I didn't have to lift my gigantic animal and we made our way to the clinic.
It's a scary thing, thinking your sweet pet is seriously ill.  I'll admit it, I was crying.  I'm still stressed out over it, actually.
The entire ride over there was excruciating for me.  Puppy wasn't acting herself, I was beside myself.  Thankfully DH has his phone for another two weeks and I called him to let him know.  How I wished he could have been there to hold my hand and tell me it's going to be okay.  Instead, I just had to say "I'm taking puppy into the vet, I'll call you as soon as I know anything"
I felt bad, because I know on his end, he was worried too.....part of me wishes I didn't have to tell him, but the charge to our credit card account had to be explained before it inexplicably showed up on our next statement.

The clinic wanted to charge me $1000.00 for tests and treatments, but her vitals were okay, so I decided to wait until the morning to have her seen by our vet.  She's acting a bit better now, but I can tell her tummy is still bothering her.
It's weird, making those big decisions by myself.  I guess that's part of this: learning independence.  Learning to make those big decisions without being able to consult my better half.

I was able to call him after she was seen and reassure him that puppy will be okay, but I know we're both still worried.  Since we have no children of our own, she is our child....and I don't know what I'd do if something happened to her.

Thankfully, everything turned out okay.
I just wish Murphy's Law didn't exist.
I'm just waiting on my car to break's going to happen, I just know it.

Rewrite Murphy's Law, deployment....or at least make it fair.

The Faithful Wife