Please stop making my dog crazy. I am having a hard enough time dealing with my own emotions to sit here and try to reason with a 40 pound ball of fur. Puppy knows that DH is gone. There's no one here to wrestle with her, mommy actually makes her listen, and there's too much bribery involving peanut butter going on....that creates the perfect combination of spoilage and strictness.
This could really become a problem.
I think the fact that he's gone is finally starting to hit me. The house is so quiet. Puppy isn't nearly as noisy as usual, she just sits in front of the window and whines. Breaks my heart, actually.
She keeps asking to go outside. I've stopped listening, because each time we go out, she doesn't do anything except sit there and look at me as if she's saying, "Okay, so where is he?"
I wish dogs were logical.
But then again, I wish I was logical.
See, if I was logical, then I could pep talk myself through this deployment so much easier. So far, I'm doing okay, but looking way ahead to when he actually comes home--that seems like climbing Everest right now. Emotions tend to rule for me. My heart outweighs my head.
I was able to talk to him for 10 minutes today. It's weird, trying to have a conversation over the phone when you're so used to talking face to face everyday. It's almost like you don't know what to talk about sometimes. Just having them on the phone with complete silence is okay--just because you know they're there listening.
He starts training tomorrow. So much going on that I might not get to talk to him for 2 weeks. I hate that. I hate that we haven't even been married a year and he's already gone. I hate that he's going to miss my birthday and our anniversary and the summertime.
But at the same time, I am so proud to be where I am. So proud to know that the man I love is serving this country and that by standing beside him, I am serving too.
This is going to be an adjustment: doing just my laundry, feeding just me, going to church by myself....silly little things that I've taken for granted so long. I'm going to have a whole new appreciation for my husband throughout this process.
So for that, I thank you, deployment. I thank you for the lonely nights and the overindulgence of ice cream when I should be on a diet. I thank you for the lack of laundry and no more gratuitous cleaning of the bathrooms.
Yes, I even thank you for the bipolor dog.
The Faithful Wife